Believe in God?

 From now onwards 'believe in god' is just a word for me.

Before few days I cried a lot in front of god to save my mother, but she died. I heard that if you wish something with true heart god will fulfill your wish. Past few days was completely full of ups and down. But at the end I have nothing left which convince me to believe in God. 

God, which is considered as the reason for everything. Whatever happens, happens with god's wish. Now onwards, I can not pray to god for anything. Whatever will happen in my life I will think that it is in my destiny. I will not thank to god for something good and I will not blame to god for anything bad, because this is what is written in my destiny.

Believe in God..But Why?

Why I will believe in god that whatever happens happens for good. There was nothing good I can see in my mother's demise. I am all alone now, I can not think any good reason for it.

My mother was a fighter. Her whole life was a struggle, sometimes because of others and sometimes because of herself. But only struggle was consistently there. She was a person which was never had a big dreams. She was just thought of getting her life busier. She can not leave me like this, it was god who forcefully taken her with him. 

Now there is no single reason to believe in god. 

For me I am alive because I am breathing. I am alive because I am not dead. I am alive because I can not commit suicide and because my mother was a fighter. I do not know the reason of being alive.